Halloween and art

our Halloween card photo shoot:
Lilah got some very cute jammies:
We dressed up for a little walk-about downtown on the 29th:
(they are little mermaids - a huge thanks to my mom for helping me sew the hardest parts of Lilah's homemade hack-job of a costume!)
then we glammed it up a bit for a party:

(I'm a Sea Queen, of course!)

on the 31st I carved Sadie's Jack-o-lantern designs:
(wasn't easy but totally worth it)
and Andrew took the girls Trick-or-Treating:
In other news, Sadie's art skills have taken a very fun turn. She's gone from scribbles and pictures:
to lists and "writing":
to some really interesting and happy looking creatures:

is it over yet?

I've been extra busy lately and haven't been writing. This is why:


He broke it while mountain biking on Friday 9/16 and had surgery to put in a plate & screws and wires on Monday 9/26.
I'm so very thankful that his friend and pro biker Thomas was with him (and gallantly carried both of their bikes out of the woods to the road, hitchhiked a ride back to their car and took him straight to the nearby fire station for help).
I'm impressed by and grateful for the intense work the ER team did to get it put back together and splinted that night. (also so thankful they medicated him properly for the worst part of that)
I'm indebted to my brother who jumped in his car and came over to stay with the girls while I went to go get my poor guy.

The recovery from surgery has been arduous. Getting the pain managed the first night was a failure. It made me mad. Really mad. No one person or one thing to blame it on; it was sort of a perfect storm of bad timing. He gets his splint and bandages off soon and will have a wrist cast or brace of some sort for 4-6 weeks.
He's basically going batty with lack of sleep, no exercise and the lingering frustration that it happened in the first place. He's been watching lots of motorcycle racing and doing some coding, but he's generally pretty miserable.

Ugh.

In happier news, we had our 5th wedding anniversary on Friday 9/30. Understandably, Andrew didn't really feel like celebrating ("I can't even cut my own food!") but I found us a fabulous new babysitter and we ended up having a really nice time out. So what if I had to button his jeans for him?
With marriages in our peer group already broken or splitting at the seams all around us, I take pride in the fact that we are still going strong.

And I love to have a day to remember moments like these:

and this:

(Honeymoon)

And although I'm run a little ragged these days, I still can't really get enough of these two:
That's it for now!

if only it were that simple...or is it?

"Mom, may I be excused?"

Not until you finish your peas, sweetheart.

"But mom, I don't like them."

Well, I'm sorry honey. I thought you might like that kind with the mint butter. I won't buy that kind again. We'll just get the regular kind that you like next time.

"So do I have to eat them?"

Yes honey. They are good for you and it's part of your dinner. You know, there are lots of kids that don't get a healthy meal every night like you do. Some people are actually hungry every day because they don't have money to buy food.

Silence.

"Mom, if there are people who are hungry, shouldn't we just give them some of our food?"

GULP.

Yes, babe. Yes. That's exactly what we should do.

(I approach her to give her a hug and a kiss and tell her what a love she is and how proud I am of her for understanding how important it is to care about other people. And try not to cry.)

I think "Serve at Soup Kitchen/Homeless Shelter" just got bumped up to #1 on my list of Things To Do With My Family Especially While The Girls Are Young To Give Them Some Perspective About Life.

Big sigh.

Side note:
Before dinner, I found her engrossed on the couch with a Fisher Price catalog (note to self - must intercept mail in months preceding Christmas) because it was "in-stresting." After perusing the entire thing, she asked if she could please get "the Jesus thing." I had to have her flip through to find the item she was referring to and it was the Little People Nativity Scene. Oh boy.

it's still too much

I've been avoiding most media coverage surrounding the 10th anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist attacks.

It may be selfish, but I know myself well enough to respect my overly empathetic tendencies and the difficulty I have letting go of painful emotions.

And honestly? I don't need to be reminded. It's all pretty much still with me. When it happened, I learned that one can literally fall to their knees when overcome with shock and sudden grief, something I thankfully never had cause to experience before. It took me close to 8 months to be able to fall asleep each night without weeping. Today we live near an airbase as well as between two airports, and I still freeze in my tracks sometimes when a jet roars overhead or I see an airplane banking low in the sky. A latent, deeply embedded pang of fear and dread jars within me and then sits heavily in my gut for a while. I don't need to feed that dragon.

Actually, I feel sort of bombarded with the contrived national patriotic mottos to "Never Forget" and "Always Remember."

The thing is, I do want to forget. I don't want to remember.

I want to un-hear the audio clips from passengers on flight 93, the shaky voices of the air traffic controllers, and the sirens echoing in the unnaturally darkened and deserted streets of lower Manhattan.

I wish I could un-see the images. All of them.
Those of the second tower being struck - that baffling vision of an airplane at that twisted angle, leaving no question as to what was about to happen. That action-movie type explosion tearing through that enormous building, wiping out hundreds of lives in a moment.

I want to un-see the dust covered, bloody, terrified citizens fleeing from the scene, running for their lives. I don't want to see the hastily drafted Missing Person fliers that went up everywhere - the smiling faces of lost souls. I don't want to look at footage of the impossibly strong, dutiful firemen plodding to and from the wreckage - "the pile"- what a wretched term; their huge shoulders drooping from utter exhaustion and despair.

And the jumpers. Oh, the jumpers.

The stories of the survivors and the heroes are of no comfort to me. I did end up watching one video online that several of my friends had posted on Facebook, The Man in the Red Bandana - Welles Crowther. It's clearly meant to be uplifting and an example of unprecedented bravery and selflessness. It's a remarkable story, but one that cannot be told without the anguish and horror of that day being torn wide open again.

And so, today - unable to keep it all at bay any longer, something cracked my feeble facade of self preservation. I drove into the town where I grew up, past the firehouse and past the small town square. I looked up and saw the flags at half mast. My breath caught in my throat, I shook my head, and the tears came.

It's still too much.
It's just still too much.

"Mult. Seep."

Lilah is talking up a storm and I am not catching it all on video, so here are some recent phrases and words...

Disclaimers:
A) this will really only be cute and interesting for family members, and even that is probably pushing it!
B)This has been in draft form for quite a while and it's not well written in the slightest, but I'm just going to post it and move on.

Sinner-ruh-ruh. Cinderella.
Yo Dabba Dabba. Yo Gabba Gabba (TV Show).
I push. Shro-rer. Stroller.

Mo stawbeweez pease. More strawberries, please. (a request at breakfast this morning) Uh oh drop fork! (an observation at breakfast this morning)

Sissy Co-see Bank-ette! Sissy's cozy blanket
Daddy go bike. no explanation needed.
Mama/Daddy/Sissy do it.
Mama/Daddy weed it. Read it.
Help you, pease. Help me, please.
Shows. Close.
Paste. Toothpaste.
Damma/Dampa or Jamma/Jampa - Grandma/Grandpa

I wun. I run.
I jump.
I walk.
Button. Belly button.
She loves to point out parts of the face and body. bah-dee
Hair, eyes, eye-bows (eyebrows - she also calls them rainbows), nose, teef (teeth), cheeks, neck, eews (ears), tummy, jye-nuh (vagina), legs, feet, toes.

she loves to count. 1, 2, 3, 5, 6, 8, 9!
she loves to sing the ABC song - she could watch this about 20 times a day if I let her.

Other words she knows and uses all of the time:
book, couch, car, seat, drive, baby, airplane, helicopter, moon, cry, happy, chair, sure (her version of yes), in there, where, bed, dance, paci (pacifier), shirt, pants, shoes, clothes, dress, skirt, shorts, umbrella, bear, doggy, kitty, cycle (motorcycle), vroom-vroom, truck, big one, noisy, school, see you later, kiss, hug, stairs

My very favorite by far is Mult. Seep. Milk. Sleep. This means it's time to snuggle up on the couch to nurse her. She puts her little feet up on my chest like a monkey or offers them to me to hold and kiss and press into my cheeks. It's the best.

More from Maine 2011

it was an awesome trip, once again. Here are a few highlights.

(More to come, but wanted to post something now...)

our first sunset:
Turns out that Boothbay Harbor was fogged in on the 4th (our travel day) so we got to see the fireworks on the 5th:

(insert photos Andrew took of fireworks)

Lilah loved the back porch for snacking and for blowing bubbles. "Mo bubb-ohs?!"
The girls went on some great adventures with Nana in the wagon:
Inspired by our trip to the Botanical Gardens, Sadie and Nana made a Fairy House together:

(insert Fairy House photos and video)

This sunset preceded a terrific thunder and lighting storm:


Andrew introduced Lilah to the Atlantic:


We spent a lot of time hanging out on the rocks below the house:
Obligatory vacation photo:
the view on a foggy night:
our final sunset:

we are in Maine and we are relaxed.

do we look it?

I know this is random but I like these pictures of us.

:)

playing around with free camera apps on my Droid: