Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Yesterday and Tomorrow

About a month ago I came across a prayer/poem that has been framed in my parents' house for decades. I read it. Then I read it again.

Two Days
There are two days about which
I never worry:
yesterday and tomorrow.
Those days belong to God;
so that leaves me only today.
It is only when we add the great burden
of worry about yesterday and tomorrow
that a person breaks down.
Leave these to God, my friend,
and live just one day at a time.


I thought to myself that I should look for opportunities to call on that principle in my day to day life. And the universe handed it to me.

Last week I completely tripped out when I learned that a friend of mine is also friends with what I can only call my nemesis from junior high. I literally sat dumbfounded at the computer for a couple of minutes - my mind transporting me back into my 13 year old self - the long forgotten stress and emotional hardship of being bullied and picked on quickening my pulse.

Yesterday.

How could this awesome woman I know have anything to do with her? What could they possibly have in common?

Turns out their daughters are BFFs at preschool. Mystery solved. Still, I was surprised by how stunned I felt when I saw that this person whom I totally dig is "Facebook friends" with a girl (now woman) who was beyond awful to me many years ago. I am all for social media - love it, mostly - but this particular incidence of it rocked my world a little.

Anyway, it got me thinking. Obviously, people change. Maybe time and motherhood have made this woman a nicer person? Maybe she's matured and evolved and now doesn't gang up with her friends to torment someone she doesn't like?
Maybe if I had seen her at my friend's daughter's 3rd birthday party (instead of being at the hospital giving birth to Lilah) we would have chatted politely like young mothers do at parks and playgrounds. Hell, maybe she wouldn't have even remember how she treated me. Or better yet (this is how my mind works) - she would remember and then meeting me via our mutual friend would trigger remorse and regret and she would be ashamed and apologetic.

Tomorrow
.

I have made some new mom friends over the past few years and will (hopefully) make more. I can say with some certainty that most of them and I would not have run in the same crowds in our teens or even twenties, in some cases. I have no way of knowing if they were nice in junior high or not. I can only see who they are now.

Today
.

It's really just an elaborate way of reminding myself to live in the moment. It's a lesson worth repeating. I can already think of about 3 other ways that it applies to me right now. I think I needed it.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

big day over here...

Lilah is now sitting up



and


Sadie is using the "big girl" swing.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

When in Rome...

Here we are going with the flow recently...

In the land of All Things Disney Princess (aka Sadie's cousins' house), there's no way to avoid this:
(But you won't catch me buying tickets to Disneyland anytime soon. Or ever.)

Lilah catches naps whenever and wherever she can:
(because that's when you do when you're 5 months old and you find yourself in the dappled light of a tall tree on an absolutely perfect pre-Autumn day)

And sometimes, after a night when your toddler wakes you up 6 times between 10 PM and 3 AM, never telling you what's wrong and ends up throwing up all over the place, and you find yourself scrubbing the carpet for half an hour in the middle of the night - you let said toddler wear her jammies to your very important appointment at the junkyard in the morning and then even more important appointment at Peet's.
(and you let her have hot chocolate with whipped cream)

And when your equally bleary-eyed wife pulls out the camera to snap a picture of her 3 favorite subjects, you oblige. And even smile a little.
What's that saying? "Fake it 'til you make it"? Yeah, that's the one.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

if I could have tipped him...

Today with my toddler jabbering away in a cart full of groceries and my babe snug at my chest in my Ergo carrier, I lingered in the wine aisle of Trader Joe's.
Then I heard the voice of my favorite male employee there behind me say, "Sure hope you brought your ID with you, kiddo!"

Oh, Patrick...you know how to make a gal feel good.

In my *ahem* somewhat new life as "Ma'am", "Mrs." and even "Hey, lady!" - the insinuation that I might get carded for alcohol was indeed a compliment. I'll take 'em where I can get 'em.
In addition to Andrew making my coffee & helping me strap the girls into their carseats this morning, it pretty much made my day.

Although while typing this, it occurs to me that A) that's kind of sad and B) he might have been talking to Sadie...(?)

Oh well. I'll take those twenty seconds of feeling cute enough to warrant a comment like that.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Here we go, yo.



So Sadie starts preschool tomorrow. We did the bagels/coffee/juicebox social last week. We did the one-hour orientation on Tuesday and met her teachers. We got her to bed early tonight and her outfit is all ready to go. In a few hours, I'll be holding her hand, walking her into her classroom, giving her a hug and a kiss, and saying "see you later, alligator."

As recently as 3 or 4 months ago, I could draw a lump in my throat just thinking about it, but lately I've been counting down the days. For some reason though, now that it's here, I have seriously mixed emotions. She's so ready. She is so excited. She's going to love it.

But we still have to get through The First Day.

The informational packet we were given at the orientation reminded me that (even though we've talked about it seemingly ad nauseum for something like a year now) "some confusion and fearfulness is common and the feelings of separation from parents are often painful and scary." Gulp. I actually hadn't considered the possibility that she might get upset tomorrow when it's time to leave her in her classroom. Up until today, I really hadn't given much thought to how that moment is going to play out.

It's new territory for both of us. We haven't done this yet. No daycare, no babysitters. The one time I was gone for a few days, she was with both Andrew and her Nana. I've left her with my parents and my sisters & sister-in-law for a couple of hours here and there, but this is a whole new ballgame. It really is strange to wrap my head around the fact that we won't be together all day. That's really all both of us have known for over 3 years. It all changes tomorrow and forever after.
School.
New friends.
New experiences.
New rules, new authority figures.
New emotions.
I'm glad we are easing into it. It's only a Tues/Thurs program and it's less than 3 hours each day.

Still, for two hours and forty-five minutes twice a week, I won't be there to answer her questions, tell her it's okay and help her clean up when she spills something, tuck her hair behind her ear when it falls in her face. I won't be able to help her blow her nose, distract & redirect her when she gets fixated on an obstacle, or remind her to use her manners. I won't witness what she says (or what is said to her) as she tries to make new friends.

I know she will do just fine in preschool. But tomorrow is a big day.

Here we go, yo.