Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Pure Joy


Honestly, this kid radiates joy.

She does this funny audible inhale when she's excited, which is often. Her arms and legs go at a different speed than the rest of her body. She clasps her hands together and pumps them up and down, making a sound on the down-beat. She "sings" along to music in the car.

She doesn't laugh much, so we all get excited when she does, but she grins and shrieks with joy all of the time.
She loves dogs. She loves being in the swing at the park.


She loves to watch her sister. And I swear she wakes up early just to get quality time lying in bed with Mom and Dad, where she squeals, kicks, slaps our faces and grabs our hair and skin. Starting the day feeling the love from a being who simply cannot get enough of us is pretty hard to beat.


She does this hilarious high-pitched "singing" where she goes above her vocal register to just a whisper that we call Mariah-ing. Here's an example: http://www.vimeo.com/16869805

She certainly can make a noisy protest as well, but she mostly keeps us smiling and reminds us that life is really exciting and fun. Keep up the good work, kiddo. We love you soooooooooo much.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Deep thoughts, toddler version.


The other day while driving to visit our friends a couple of hours away, Sadie started asking "family tree" type questions. We've explained it before to her, but I think she's starting to understand a little bit better. She seems to get that Nana and Papa are Daddy's mom & dad, and Grandma and Grandpa are Mommy's mom and dad. She named all of her aunts and I explained that Aunt Jill and Aunt JoJo are Mommy's sisters. We told her that Uncle Justin is Daddy's brother and Uncle John is Mommy's brother. The one that seems to make her think deeply is that GG is Mommy's Grandma and is also Grandpa's mom. It seems fitting that that would be a head-scratcher for a three year old. I was thoroughly enjoying making these family relationship connections clear to her and the topic was genuinely holding her interest.
And then.
"Who is Grandma's mom and dad?"
Well, honey, Grandma's mom and dad have died.
"But why did they die?"
Well, they each died when they got very sick with a terrible disease called cancer.
Silence.
I turned around to see my sweet girl's lips turn down at the corners ever so slightly and did I detect a quiver? Yup. Then her big blue eyes filled with tears and, I kid you not, one fat tear rolled down her right cheek as she looked at me and said, "But I'm sad that Grandma's mom died!"

Oh, boy.

I reached back and held her hand and tried to fight the lump forming in my throat. I told her that it's okay to be sad when people die - that we feel that way because we care about them and we will miss them when they are gone.

But ugh - where to go from here? Do I get into talk of souls, spirit, heaven, angels? Do I even believe in all or any of that? I took a deep breath, which promptly caught in my throat and I barely got out "Well, babe - I believe that even though Grandma's mom and dad aren't here with us on Earth anymore, that they are still watching over us."
And I do. I do choose to believe that people's souls continue on after death. In what capacity, exactly, I don't know and I don't expect to ever know or understand. I think I buy into the idea of reincarnation/past lives/old souls, etc. but to be honest, I haven't done a huge amount of deep thinking on the topic.

I decided to leave it at that for now, shifting the conversation into telling her a little bit about Grandma's mom. I told her that she was a really special lady who I loved very very much. I told her that she worked in an ice cream parlor when she was a teenager and could make the most perfect ice cream cones ever. I told her that she had blue eyes and blond hair, like she does. I told her that I used to watch soap operas with her and that she used to take us grocery shopping every Sunday after church & let me ride in the cart. I told her that she used to have tons of costume jewelry that she let me and my sisters try on. She seemed to like hearing these details and I was pleased to have helped her feel a little better.

But the next day in the car, she asked "Mom, where do people die?"
Gulp.
I am all about answering all of her questions so that she knows she can always come to me when she wants the truth about things, but I didn't exactly know what to say. 'Cause let's face it - people can and do die pretty much anywhere and anytime. That seemed a little too real. So I told her that people die in different places; some get sick and die in the hospital, some die at home, and some can die other places too. She piped up that some people could die in the swimming pool if they can't swim (I must have impressed that upon her at some point during her lessons a few months ago).

This morning, I heard Andrew explaining to her that "everyone dies eventually" - she was at it again. I also heard him assuring her that most car accidents are minor and that people can get hurt but don't usually die - only in very bad ones - and that lots of doctors and scientists are working very hard to find a cure for cancer. You know, just some light, pleasant morning chatter over peach yogurt and peanut butter raisin toast. Why is death on her mind?!

I certainly didn't anticipate discussing cancer, drowning and car accidents with my three year old. I really would rather she not be worrying about this stuff yet. I suppose sharing all of this information with her could result in making her scared and troubled, but I am immensely glad that she is voicing her concerns, asking questions, and above all, exhibiting true empathy. I guess I feel like if we wisely handle how we share knowledge with her, we could potentially instill confidence in her as a prescient being. I realize that's a bit lofty and certainly idealistic, but how else can I approach my girl's curiosity about life itself?