S-T-R-E-S-S....at the playground?

I got SO stressed out yesterday - at the playground.

I met a dear friend and her 2.5 year old at a park near their house which was new to us. When I arrived, I was delighted to see that it had plenty of shade, a great sand area, and the best part: the toddler area was gated.
Before too long we noticed that it was getting pretty crowded - it seems that a moms group had descended with their children who all seemed to be around 2 years old. I initially thought this was great, but it got chaotic quickly. There was one young, fit, tattooed mom who was basically in the thick of it - playing tag/chase with the older kids. The rest stayed on the periphery chatting, with the occasional dash into the fray to break up a tug-o-war over a shovel or pick up and dust off someone who'd fallen down.
I had made the mistake of bringing some things for Sadie to play with which immediately became objects of attention for the other kids. Sadie is pretty passive and ends up getting things taken from her by other kids all of the time at parks, etc. I generally try not to hover and step in every time this happens, because I want her to get a sense of the world as it is. I will get involved if the interaction is overly aggressive or intentionally mean (at this age, it's usually not - kids just take what looks interesting to them). She seems bewildered at first and then gets visibly frustrated, but she doesn't usually grab the item back. She actually asks for it back, which of course gets wholly ignored by the tiny perpetrator. Luckily, there were about 4 different Bucket/Shovels and plenty of extra sand toys that were being shared. Sadie is in a sand loving phase right now, so I was able to distract her with that while other kids kicked her ball and pushed her stroller around.

Anyway, the moms group seemed like a nice group of gals and they all seemed to be watching out for each other's kids, which I thought was cool. I love seeing any and all examples of "it takes a village" philosophy in action. However, there were a few tumbles, some tears, and a good deal of shouting. I think the shouting is what puts me on edge most.

After a while, Sadie wanted a snack, so I set out a few of her things on a bench and kept talking to my friend. All of a sudden I looked down, and a little boy had wandered over and picked up her water bottle. I was able to get it just before he put it in his mouth. I knelt down and said "hey there! that's her water bottle - and remember, we don't share things we put in our mouths, right?" all the while glancing around for his mom to appear. He seemed unphased thankfully (I suppose he could have screamed bloody murder when I took the water away from him) so I kept mommy-talking to him. "This is Sadie. She's having a snack. Did you bring a snack to the park today? Where's your snack?" etc. still waiting for his mom to pop into the interaction. Finally I offered him one of Sadie's Bunny Cookies and BAM! out of nowhere comes this woman (his mother) frantically saying "He's allergic to peanuts!" and grabbing the cookie out of his hand. He hadn't eaten it yet, but I was rattled because I've heard of kids who swell up and can't breathe if they even get a crumb of something that has peanuts in it or was processed in a facility that also handles nuts, etc. I mumbled something like, "oh, I'm so sorry - I didn't think of that" as she hurried him away. I felt about this big.
My friend gave me a reassuring mother-to-mother supportive look and I felt better. All was fine until a few more minutes later when the kid reappeared at my feet with a handful of Sadie's cookies and one in his mouth! I freaked and immediately grabbed a piece of paper towel and began desperately fishing the food out of his mouth - all the while picturing myself in some horrible altercation with the mom trying to explain A) how I'd managed not to see him take the cookie and B) why I had my fingers in her son's mouth. Shudder.

Well, that did it for me. We packed up and got out of there. I'll have to think twice the next time I decide to take Sadie to the park; it's certainly not relaxing for mama!