Sunday, June 28, 2009

RIP, MJ.

Last week, a friend of mine said to me, "I was surprised how sad I felt when I heard that Michael Jackson had died."

I felt exactly the same way. Sad. And surprised how sad.

For the past few days, I've racked up a few hours' worth of time watching videos and snippets of interviews Michael gave over the years, and I have chosen to linger on the good and ignore the ugly, hateful things being said. I've read some things online, I've caught bits on TV here and there, and clicked around on Youtube quite a bit.

It's definitely overload - the amount of footage that exists documenting his lifetime career is staggering. Photos of his ever changing appearance. Spectacular moments like his first moonwalk. The Thriller video. The beauteous, collaborative recording of We Are The World. His crazy fabulous concert outfits. The glove. His moves - oh, how that man could dance!

I won't pretend that I can add any eloquent or profound thoughts about him and his contribution to this world as an artist. It's all being said wonderfully by countless others - people everywhere are talking and writing about him. His indisputable talent, his immeasurable legacy, his inspired passion for music, dance, love, fanasty, and magic. His desire to embrace the world with childlike wonderment.

The man was one of a kind. I believe he was very misunderstood and I cringe when I hear or see examples of the persecution he endured - everything from ridiculous tabloid headlines to tacky jokes. I am glad he always had a huge fan base to remind him that he was loved, admired and appreciated no matter what.

I can't even claim that I was a devoted fan. I never got to see him in concert, and I only ever bought a couple of his albums.

I know that his music will continue to effect me as it always has. Songs like Beat It and Thriller pave a direct path to my 3rd grade heart. Songs like Black or White, Man In The Mirror, and Heal The World bring me back to high school and early college days when I wrestled with profound questions about life/love/friendship and the meaning of it all. Don't Stop 'til You Get Enough kicked off the dancing at our wedding reception. Billie Jean, Smooth Criminal and The Way You Make Me Feel just make me want to get up and move!

They all make me smile. Listening to him and watching him, it's so perfectly clear that this man was something special. I am so grateful that I got to grow up with his music.

I am sad he's gone and my heart goes out to those who truly knew him and loved him. What a loss.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Shopping, Road Rash and Father's Day



I know, random. But these are the things that have dominated the last week of our lives. Here we go:

Shopping

I am not a shopper. I did not get that gene. I only shop when I absolutely have to find something for an upcoming event, and as everyone knows, that's the worst time to do it. It's usually much better to shop casually when you don't need anything. (am I right, ladies?)
Last week I asked my mom to take Sadie for several hours so that I could make a focused attempt to find a dress for a wedding we are attending in July. I can't go for more than 30 minutes or so with Sadie, because I end up fishing her out of the clothes racks and having mini panic-attacks when I can't find her for more than 10 or 15 seconds. So I dropped her off with Grandma and headed to Nordstrom. Having worked there made me a devoted fan. You just can't beat the service and the return policy puts me at ease to take several things home for second and third opinions from Andrew, my sisters, etc.
Anyway, I was pleasantly surprised to find several dresses that I liked and didn't break the bank. I brought them home and have since narrowed it down to two contenders. I bought two more from the online store and will make a final decision soon.
Here's one of the contenders:
(you'll either love it or hate it)

Road Rash

Ouch. Andrew took a nasty spill off of his bike last week. You know it's not good when your husband starts the conversation with "don't panic, but...." He needed me to go get some special bandages from the drugstore to properly patch him up. Right shoulder/bicep, right hip/upper thigh, and ankle bone. OUCH. I now know for certain I wouldn't make it as a nurse. :( Don't get me wrong - we did a pretty good job together with some weird wet/sticky hydro-healing gel pad things and lots of gauze pads and tape, but it was definitely an amateur success (aka hack-job). After a pretty miserable night's sleep, he decided it was worth going to the Urgent Care facility downtown. (hallelujah!) He is so glad he did. The doc patched him up with some trick 3M clear, thin, waterproof pads. Much better, but about 36 hours later they needed some drainage-type attention and I couldn't deal with it at all. (like I said...so not cut out for nursing or medicine. bummer.) He's on day 4 of healing and even rode his bike to work today. Sigh. Men. ;)

Father's Day
Somehow we managed to assemble the entire family at my folks' house last night for a great Father's/Grandfather's Day dinner. Sunday Night Dinners are a standard in our family and have been for as long as I can remember, but we don't end up seeing my bro, sis-in-law and their girls for that weekly tradition much anymore. So it was awesome to be all together. Sadie loves being around her cousins. Big time. Everyone pitched in and we had quite the summer feast of BBQ, corn, fruit, salad and the suprise hit of the night - a fresh ollalieberry pie.

Andrew's gift was a big photo album filled with pictures of just him and Sadie from birth til now. I told him we'll add more each year until it's full. I made sure to give this to him in the morning at home so that he could have his emotional response in private. :)

I also found the most perfectly worded card and gave that to him right before we went to sleep for the night. I like spacing things out like that. It makes the whole day last a little longer somehow.

So there. You're all caught up. Exciting, eh?

Friday, June 12, 2009

...sigh...

Sadie likes to be rocked by Andrew and me to Brahm's Lullaby before bed. It is so sweet, I can hardly stand it.

Andrew and I stand together with her lying horizontally between us, nestled lovingly in our arms with her long legs dangling from the crook of our elbows as we sway back and forth. We arrange ourselves so as to be accompanied (by request) by a creak in the floor beneath us so that she can hear it "like in the book" Old Devil Wind".

This version of the lullaby is from one of our Music Together CDs. It is 3 verses, has no words, and is just lovely. It is probably under two minutes long, and she doesn't fall asleep; she just lays there looking up at us as we gaze at her and one another adoringly. Sometimes we get a big, languid yawn and a gush of her sweet, just-brushed toddler breath as we rock her. Sometimes she's still a little squirmy and giggly, or wants to babble about whatever is going through her amazing little brain. Sometimes she reaches out and places her warm palm on my cheek - heaven. Last night she reached for my Jenny's Light necklace, picked it up off my chest gently and said "I like your necklace, Mommy. It's beautiful."

Tonight, the light from the kitchen was casting shadows of her eyelashes, making them look even longer and darker than they are. I love being that close to her face so I can really study her perfect, smooth skin, her full lips and clear, deep blue eyes. It sounds corny as all get-out, but every once in a while I am completely dumbstruck as to how we created such a breathtakingly beautiful creature.

We can feel her body relaxing into our cradling arms - she just sort of sinks into us with total trust and love. There is no way to describe how it feels. I wish I could capture it somehow to be able to feel it again in the future when rocking my baby girl before bed is a distant memory. I'm so grateful to be aware of how precious this time is with her. I know she can feel our love for her and I know she basks in it.

She's so tall, so verbal, so busy these days, that I find myself more aware of the quiet moments, the hugs & kisses, the hand holding. The way her hand feels in mine when we're walking together is another indescribable thing. Especially when she reaches for it. That's the best.

Anyway...I just had to muse a bit before going to sleep tonight. I want to acknowledge my appreciation for the gift that is my daughter.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

First Family Camping Trip!



First of all, I have to qualify our camping style -- we "car camp". I'm not hardcore enough to backpack/hike in someplace and set up camp miles from any sort of amenities like clean running water and you know...plumbing. I could do it, but I wouldn't like it, and the whole point of a family trip is to have fun, right? Right. And we really, really did.

Pfeiffer Big Sur was a perfect place to camp. Big campsites, lots of shade, a creek, bathrooms with hot water and showers, etc. We borrowed an enormous tent (thanks Carrie!) and a little camping chair for Sadie. I brought a handful of activities for her and her friend who joined us. (books, crayons, stickers, bubbles and water colors) She mostly wanted to run around and flop on the bedding in the tent. She really seemed to dig being in the forest. We played in the creek, poked around with sticks, listened to the birds and just hung out together. We didn't keep track of time, which was really nice. There's also something so great about being able to get (and stay) dirty without caring.

I will say that the hyper-vigilance required with a toddler around a campfire is a touch more exhausting than the average/daily kind, so I'm afraid I might have been a bit short with Andrew a couple of times (sorry, babe). Luckily Sadie was pretty content to either sit in her own chair or in my lap watching the fire dance and crackle.

Saturday night was 24 hours before a full moon, so everything had that indescribable luminescence. There's nothing quite like the light of a full moon. I've always loved full moons; I was born under one and I went into labor with Sadie (12 days "late") under one. It was a wonderful night to sit around a fire and talk. Things did get a bit interesting when a very brave skunk decided to come check out our garbage bag and then wouldn't bugger off for the next 20 minutes or so, but other than that, it was a perfect mini adventure weekend.

We're definitely doing this again!