Wednesday, November 26, 2008

My blogging inferiority complex

I am finally ready to admit one of the big reasons that I don't write in my blog frequently. I have an inferiority complex! I have a handful of friends and acquaintances who have blogs and they write really, really well. Not just cutesy, funny, anecdotal stuff here and there (although there's plenty of that) but great, profound, really lovely things. All of the time. It's times like this that I wish my competitive streak/jealousy tendencies would die!
Every time I start to compose a blog entry in my head, I'm rarely satisfied enough to follow through. I literally will get hung up on my opening and closing sentences, my overall approach, my waning vocabulary, etc. I struggle immensely with whether what I have to say is even remotely interesting, let alone relevant or thought provoking!
Back to my complex - my blogging friends write beautifully! Some are downright poetic and truly moving. I also worry that I'll inadvertently plagiarize one of them somehow. A few of them are fellow new moms who are experiencing some of the same things I am (or will) and I just think they are somehow always going to say it better/more cleverly/more eloquently than I ever could.
Get over it, Janine. Right? I know that's what I should say to myself. And I know that writing is like most other things; the more you do it, the better you'll become at it. I have always been this way with writing, though. I remember sitting up late into the night over English homework in high school, too stressed out to even begin writing a paper because I couldn't come up with a stellar first sentence. I would labor so much over just putting pen to paper to get started.
The reason I started this blog in the first place was to document this transition into my life as a parent and to have something permanent for Sadie (and future sibling/s?) as a record of this incredible journey of parenthood. But as I read other people's blogs - even the other "parenting" ones - I'm struck that it can be so much more than that. I know enough not to air my dirty laundry here, but I do see it as a huge outlet for musings on all sorts of things; not just "a day in the life" type of stuff.
For example, I read a ton of really great posts surrounding the recent election, and I feel that I should have put more of my thoughts down about it. I'm certain someday I'll wonder what I was doing/thinking/experiencing during this historic time, and I don't have much. I actually feel
guilty about that! Crazy.
Anyway, let me just stop this whining right now with a shout out to K-Lo, Crystal, B.c., Gillian, Nicole, and Melissa for your wonderful blogs (as well as countless others belonging to complete strangers that I've stumbled upon). I'm inspired and blessed to read your words. Thanks for sharing and for providing the impetus for me to get a little more serious about this.


YF said...

I am not sure that I have written anything inspiring, but i am honored to even be included in that sentence! i avoid any real topics myself for similar reasons... silly us.

Gillian Kessler said...

DO NOT stop writing! the fact that you are doing it at all is tremendous (that any of us are!)

your sadie is gorgeous. so glad to find you again!

Melissa said...

just read this post. i loved it. i think we all are so much more alike than we realize, in terms of our thoughts and feelings (and yes, our anxieties! as parents and beyond!). it's always refreshing to share--you are not alone! sometimes i wonder if it's just pure self-indulgence to write things down and post on the web, but hey, here we are. for me, it's easier than doing a baby book. (: xoxo