Who Pressed Fast Forward?!

Life is zooming by right now. Time is flying. I know it's cliche. I know.

I have a show opening in less than 3 days, which deserves a post of it's own, considering all the drama that has surrounded the production of this play - starting with the fact that I replaced a fired actress who was apparently super talented but a major diva. Yikes. Sprinkle into that having to learn British accents or face the possibility of being shut down due to violation of performance/adaptation rights AND losing our stage manager 2 days before tech and you've got quite a situation.
I took the role because I knew it would be a great challenge and there's always that lingering voice in my head saying "when are you going to get a chance to act again?" I *heart* our director and there is some fierce talent in this cast, so I'm convinced it will be an overall success - it just feels dicey right now. But the show must go on!

It's late August!!! I never posted about our glorious, restful, wonderful trip to Maine in July with Andrew's family. I have over 300 photos and so much to say about how bittersweet it is to see Sadie with her "far away" family in such a special place. Here are a few photos of our trip:

The Perch, dead center.

Lobster boats in the morning!

Papa pointing things out.

Grimes Cove beach with Nana and Daddy.

Relaxation.

On a walk with Nana.

Classic coastal Maine

Joanne leaves for New Zealand in less than 3 weeks. I'm in denial that she's really going. I'm so excited for her & all of the possibilities & adventures that await her there, but oh. my. GOD. I'm going to miss her so much. Thank heavens for Skype, I guess. It's sort of beyond my comprehension that she literally may not come back to the US for a very long time. The bright side of that, though, is that if she doesn't come back, that means things are going great for her there. Double-edged sword. Big time.

Babies everywhere! My friend Leslie had her sweet twin girls after a very scary and complicated pregnancy. My friend Alissa had her perfect twin boys. My cousin Steph had her beautiful baby boy, and I know about 5 other women who are expecting in the coming weeks.

We're about to buy a car! My very first brand new car! We are doing the cash for clunkers thing and finally getting rid of a car that Andrew was asked to "watch for a month or so" by a friend who needed to go attend to some family matters in New York...about 6 years ago. Yes, you read that right. We've gotten that thing ($) out of tow yards twice (one time involved an 8 month pregnant me helping Andrew push it out of a very sketchy place in East San Jose - yes, you read that right, too). We had to do the street-parking-shuffle for the year we lived in Redwood City, Andrew tried stashing it in an abandoned lot at work for a while once, etc. The thing has been SUCH an albatross around our necks. I donated my car almost a full year ago, so we're happy that our carbon footprint was greatly reduced during this time, but there have been a few times when only having one car was definitely a problem. I've had to drive the POS a handful of times, including 2 nights ago, when I was blessed with a flat tire on the way home from rehearsal at roughly 10:30 PM. Nice. AAA came to the rescue and the tow truck guy and I had a good laugh about the car and the spare tire he put on for me. He said, and I quote: "Be careful driving on this thing. They don't even make this kind of tire anymore. You could run over a mouse and this thing would blow." Sweet. Good riddance.

Okay that's it for now. I need to study my script.

Two!

Peace. I'm two.

Affirmation

Today during Sadie's post afternoon nap snack:

"What are you doing, mama?"
(emphasis on "you" - that's how she asks this question)

"I'm putting these dishes into the dishwasher so they'll get clean."

(she watches me for a few seconds)

"What a good mommy you are, mama."

sounds of summer

aaaahhh....

I got to drift off to sleep to the sounds of crickets last night! Of course, I had to concentrate a little to drown out the sounds of my neighbors yelling and swearing, but I managed. It almost makes up for being woken up by second-hand smoke 3 times a night. Almost.

Where was I? Oh, right. Crickets. That sound - you know it - is a sound I link to childhood summers. Days when I was in my swimsuit all day long and my hair never quite dried before I jumped in the pool again. Playing Sharks & Minnows and Marco Polo. My mom teaching me all kinds of dives off the diving board (half gainers, backflips, 1-and-a-half flips, etc.) Laying on a towel on the warm cement listening to Cyndi Lauper, Tears for Fears and the Outfield on my pink Sony radio. Nights when my parents let us swim at my grandparents house after dinner, when it was dark out. I used to absolutely love night swimming. I can almost feel my pruney fingers and toes and the soft burn of chlorine in my eyes. When we were done, my siblings and I would line up at my grandparents' kitchen door and my Grandma would bring a big, warm, fluffy towel straight from the dryer to wrap each of us up. I remember her teaching me how to scoop ice cream (she worked at a soda fountain as a girl). I remember sitting on my Grandpa's lap on their rusty old outdoor rocking chair with the peeling paint - a hint of Jack Daniels' on his breath and the softest hands of any man I've ever known to this very day.

Aaaaah. Crickets. That droning, repetetive, chirp-buzz that somehow sounds like a perfect mix of nature and music and brings such sweet memories to my mind. I don't know where the crickets came from, but they put a smile on my face, and I hope they stick around.

The Big Bang

Well, one of my most dreaded "Mom Moments" has happened. Sort of. I say "sort of" because it ended up being okay even though it was awful.

Last Friday, Andrew was home working (yes - he had to work the entire holiday weekend) so I took Sadie to the park with my friend and her son. For the first time, I decided to let Sadie climb up the tall play structure to the slide without me hovering over/near/under her. Can you guess what happened next? Yeah. Kaboom.

She fell. She fell about 6 and a half feet onto sand and that packed rubber stuff they use at playgrounds now (thank God.) She somehow twisted or flipped over in midair and landed mostly on her back. I ran to her, totally panicked. Do I move her? Do we call 911? What if she broke something? Which hospital is closest?

The incident is still mostly a blur in my mind - somewhere between that freaky slow motion when something bad is happening that you can't control and those jarring, jerky, nightmarish images that still make my stomach churn on recall.

My friend called 911 who dispatched a ladder truck and a fire rescue truck, so there was quite the fanfare for the other kids at the park. The extent of her injuries were getting the wind knocked out of her and biting her tongue pretty severely in 2 places. She was significantly scared, but wasn't hysterical, which is pretty amazing. She cried pretty hard for a few minutes but then just sat in my lap sort of whimpering. There was a mom who is also an MD in the crowd at the park, so she came over and introduced herself and checked Sadie out, which was really nice and helped me start to calm down.

At some point I called Andrew and he raced over to be with us. He was undoubtedly reliving his brother's fall some 30 years ago which was particularly traumatic for all involved. We were lucky enough not to need an ambulance, a trip to the ER for stitches or worse. It was actually relatively easy for me to keep this accident in perspective because a friend of mine's daughter just recently had a much, much worse fall which ended up in a helicopter ride to the county hospital.

I am immensely thankful that my friend was there to deal with calling for help. Thank you, KLo. I am grateful to the kind doctor/mom who came to our aid. But mostly I'm just thankful to the "powers that be" for getting us through our first injury emergency.

Sadie is most thankful for the popsicles she got to eat for the next few days

(doesn't look like much, but trust me - those were deep cuts. Ow.)

and for the new toy that a very nice fire medic woman gave to her as they were all leaving.
Meet Pearl the Panda:

One step forward in terms of parenting notches on my belt (I guess) but about three steps back for me in terms of me letting her climb on anything by herself for a while. Sigh.

RIP, MJ.

Last week, a friend of mine said to me, "I was surprised how sad I felt when I heard that Michael Jackson had died."

I felt exactly the same way. Sad. And surprised how sad.

For the past few days, I've racked up a few hours' worth of time watching videos and snippets of interviews Michael gave over the years, and I have chosen to linger on the good and ignore the ugly, hateful things being said. I've read some things online, I've caught bits on TV here and there, and clicked around on Youtube quite a bit.

It's definitely overload - the amount of footage that exists documenting his lifetime career is staggering. Photos of his ever changing appearance. Spectacular moments like his first moonwalk. The Thriller video. The beauteous, collaborative recording of We Are The World. His crazy fabulous concert outfits. The glove. His moves - oh, how that man could dance!

I won't pretend that I can add any eloquent or profound thoughts about him and his contribution to this world as an artist. It's all being said wonderfully by countless others - people everywhere are talking and writing about him. His indisputable talent, his immeasurable legacy, his inspired passion for music, dance, love, fanasty, and magic. His desire to embrace the world with childlike wonderment.

The man was one of a kind. I believe he was very misunderstood and I cringe when I hear or see examples of the persecution he endured - everything from ridiculous tabloid headlines to tacky jokes. I am glad he always had a huge fan base to remind him that he was loved, admired and appreciated no matter what.

I can't even claim that I was a devoted fan. I never got to see him in concert, and I only ever bought a couple of his albums.

I know that his music will continue to effect me as it always has. Songs like Beat It and Thriller pave a direct path to my 3rd grade heart. Songs like Black or White, Man In The Mirror, and Heal The World bring me back to high school and early college days when I wrestled with profound questions about life/love/friendship and the meaning of it all. Don't Stop 'til You Get Enough kicked off the dancing at our wedding reception. Billie Jean, Smooth Criminal and The Way You Make Me Feel just make me want to get up and move!

They all make me smile. Listening to him and watching him, it's so perfectly clear that this man was something special. I am so grateful that I got to grow up with his music.

I am sad he's gone and my heart goes out to those who truly knew him and loved him. What a loss.

Shopping, Road Rash and Father's Day

I know, random. But these are the things that have dominated the last week of our lives. Here we go:

Shopping
I am not a shopper. I did not get that gene. I only shop when I absolutely have to find something for an upcoming event, and as everyone knows, that's the worst time to do it. It's usually much better to shop casually when you don't need anything. (am I right, ladies?)
Last week I asked my mom to take Sadie for several hours so that I could make a focused attempt to find a dress for a wedding we are attending in July. I can't go for more than 30 minutes or so with Sadie, because I end up fishing her out of the clothes racks and having mini panic-attacks when I can't find her for more than 10 or 15 seconds. So I dropped her off with Grandma and headed to Nordstrom. Having worked there made me a devoted fan. You just can't beat the service and the return policy puts me at ease to take several things home for second and third opinions from Andrew, my sisters, etc.
Anyway, I was pleasantly surprised to find several dresses that I liked and didn't break the bank. I brought them home and have since narrowed it down to two contenders. I bought two more from the online store and will make a final decision soon.
Here's one of the contenders:
(you'll either love it or hate it)

Road Rash
Ouch. Andrew took a nasty spill off of his bike last week. You know it's not good when your husband starts the conversation with "don't panic, but...." He needed me to go get some special bandages from the drugstore to properly patch him up. Right shoulder/bicep, right hip/upper thigh, and ankle bone. OUCH. I now know for certain I wouldn't make it as a nurse. :( Don't get me wrong - we did a pretty good job together with some weird wet/sticky hydro-healing gel pad things and lots of gauze pads and tape, but it was definitely an amateur success (aka hack-job). After a pretty miserable night's sleep, he decided it was worth going to the Urgent Care facility downtown. (hallelujah!) He is so glad he did. The doc patched him up with some trick 3M clear, thin, waterproof pads. Much better, but about 36 hours later they needed some drainage-type attention and I couldn't deal with it at all. (like I said...so not cut out for nursing or medicine. bummer.) He's on day 4 of healing and even rode his bike to work today. Sigh. Men. ;)

Father's Day
Somehow we managed to assemble the entire family at my folks' house last night for a great Father's/Grandfather's Day dinner. Sunday Night Dinners are a standard in our family and have been for as long as I can remember, but we don't end up seeing my bro, sis-in-law and their girls for that weekly tradition much anymore. So it was awesome to be all together. Sadie loves being around her cousins. Big time. Everyone pitched in and we had quite the summer feast of BBQ, corn, fruit, salad and the suprise hit of the night - a fresh ollalieberry pie.

Andrew's gift was a big photo album filled with pictures of just him and Sadie from birth til now. I told him we'll add more each year until it's full. I made sure to give this to him in the morning at home so that he could have his emotional response in private. :)

I also found the most perfectly worded card and gave that to him right before we went to sleep for the night. I like spacing things out like that. It makes the whole day last a little longer somehow.

So there. You're all caught up. Exciting, eh?