Monday, October 26, 2009

Just your average Sunday night dinner...

Every Sunday I look forward to a home cooked meal - and not my own! Our entire family has a standing invitation to come for a weekly dinner at my parents' house (mom just needs a headcount on Saturday or by Sunday morning) and I try never to miss it. It's a great way for us to get together and catch up for a few hours. We have laughs and serious talks. Sometimes we talk about the weather and we generally avoid politics. We share, we listen, we wonder and we muse together. I absolutely love that Sadie gets this fundamental exposure to family communion - not to mention table manners & amazing food!

My mother has always been an incredible cook. My dad teases her that more often than not, if someone likes something she's made, "they'd better enjoy it because they'll never have it again." This is because she rarely makes the same thing twice. She's the type of cook who will experiment by swapping ingredients or adding her own touch to things that sound good to her.

There are always at least 3 courses (appetizer, main dish and dessert) and she covers all food groups, using fresh, healthy ingredients. My dad has a well stocked wine cellar and is wonderfully generous with us, so we get the additional bonus of having an excellent bottle of wine or two with dinner.

Here's where you might get the wrong idea if you don't know me and my family. We aren't the "dress-for-dinner, crystal, silverware and cloth napkin" type of diners - in fact, in the summer, we frequently use paper plates and sit outside still wrapped from the waist down in towels with damp bathing suits and bare feet. My dad is quite skilled on the BBQ, and we are frequently treated to delights like tiger prawns, cedar-plank salmon, grilled veggies from the garden, lamb, and custom sausages made from the returns from my dad's hunting trips, etc. as well as rotisserie chicken, grass-fed beef burgers, and more standard BBQ chicken, ribs, and the like.
My mom is also really inventive with salads, so we get delicious concoctions with all sorts of vegetables, fruits, lettuces, nuts, cheeses and dressings all of the time.
In addition to being an excellent cook, my mom is also an incredibly savvy grocery shopper (a skill I wish to God could be hereditary) so she'll bust out things like Alaskan King crab legs "because they were on sale" at some grocery store or another. Incidentally, my sister Jill has totally picked up this skill and usually finds coupons and sales which inform her meal choices. I need to get on that train.

I love our family tradition of Sunday Night Dinner. We are so spoiled. Over the years I've come to appreciate how much love and effort goes into these meals and I'm so grateful for the time we spend around the dinner table together. My parents are also wonderful hosts, so I've enjoyed inviting friends to our Sunday night dinners and will continue to do so. I keep swearing that "one day" when we have a house and a reasonable kitchen, I will return the favor whenever possible.

Anyway, I am definitely starting to ramble here, but this week's dinner inspired me to jump up and take pictures before we dug in to eat. Here's what we had:
baked acorn squash with some brown sugar butter drizzle
insanely moist corn bread
grilled pork tenderloin
fresh veggie salad with edamame, tomato, red onion, and corn
fruit salad with orange, pineapple, pear and pomegranate seeds
and pecan cups for dessert

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Goodbye Shaggy Town

This little haircut was SO overdue!




Mama got one too; but who wants to see pictures of that? ;)

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

getting back on the Spanish train


The Silicon Valley is a major melting pot of cultures. In our city alone, I consistently hear English, French, German, Russian and Spanish being spoken. It's been bugging me that I don't have another language to speak with Sadie. We had early and very exciting success with sign language with her, which was awesome. But that pretty much came to a screeching halt once she started speaking in 2 and 3 word "sentences" at about 16 months.
Andrew learned French in school and I learned Spanish. Unfortunately, we both have gotten terribly rusty, primarily due to lack of use. Andrew has picked up (and retained) a lot of Spanish words and phrases merely by living here for over a decade now, and I know he'd like to get better at it.
So, I have decided I'm going to make a serious effort to dust off my second language skills and get back on the Spanish speaking train. I may or may not be able to teach it to Sadie, but I know I will enjoy having my conversational skills back. I figure we have 2 things going for us. First, we enjoy being able to speak another language and second, we both seem to have a propensity for it.

Over the weekend we bought strawberries from a Mexican man who was selling them in our neighborhood and it was fun to talk to him. I have always enjoyed surprising native speakers with a decent exchange - especially looking as gringa as I do. This man was impressed with my pronunciation and once I told him that I am 25% Mexican, he said that my heritage explained it.

I have dozens of relatives in Mexico, as my maternal grandfather was from Delicias, Chihuahua. Recently I've been having instant message conversations with one of my second cousins who is 5 years my senior. It is so fun to chat with him because we just correct each other's grammar with no judgement whatsoever. It's an added bonus to be doing it over the computer, because I'm a visual learner, so seeing the words spelled out will help me remember them. I hope.
I'm going to borrow a book from a friend who teaches high school Spanish and I'm going to hit up my local bilingual aunt - who teaches Spanish at the middle school level - for ideas. I don't think I'll join a conversation group or take a course at a nearby community college yet, but those both seem like logical progressions from this point. I also intend to talk to my friend and fellow blogger C who took a class with her husband after being inspired by how beautifully their daughter was absorbing the language via her adoring Spanish-speaking caretakers.

Anyway, I hope I can stick with this plan. Espero que si.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

so what do I really want?

The other night I had one of my recurring dreams about being friends with Courtney Cox and Jennifer Aniston. God, that's painfully embarrassing to admit, but I'm going somewhere with this, I promise. At least I think I am...

So, I love being a stay at home mama, but I have some serious mental demons about what others think about my choice to be a wife and mom instead of pursuing any type of career. My generation of women is supposed to be "doing it all" because our moms (and in some cases, our grandmothers) forged the path for us to have all the opportunities that we have today. I have a handful of friends who are working mothers and I both readily and humbly admit that I seriously don't know how they do it. Their schedules truly boggle my mind. I know that if I were juggling a career and my family, I'd manage. I do know that. But let me tell you - my days are full. And that's without clients or meetings or conference calls or research or classes to teach.
I cringe when someone asks me "so what have you been up to lately?" because I don't have a snappy, cogent response laden with exciting tidbits from the workplace. I'd love to be able to say, "oh, I just got back from a conference in Paris" or "I just wrapped production on a national commercial" or "I'm working with a new client on their marketing strategy" or "I am about to submit my dissertation" or "I'm writing a grant proposal" or...(you get the idea.)
More often than not, I'm with Sadie when this query arises and I find myself self consciously gesturing towards her and mumbling something like, "well, you're looking at it..." and then promptly changing the subject. I hate that I carry some weird sort of guilt or shame about "just" being a stay-at-home mom.

I follow a few blogs by women I do not know and will likely never meet. They are either total strangers or 2 or 3 times removed (friend of friend of friend). With noteworthy consistency, their posts about motherhood/womanhood totally bowl me over and this one is the most recent example of what I'm talking about.
I copied that link and sent an email to a few close mom friends of mine, asking them to read it when they got a chance. Part of what I wrote was this:
It honestly makes me want to move to Montana (or somewhere far, far away from Silicon Valley), grow a garden, learn to sew, somehow have a cool/funky part time job that I love, and...be a better mom and wife in that natural, earthy, simple back-to-basics way.
I sit in our cluttered little apartment and feel sometimes like I'm doing it all wrong.
Let me be clear - I KNOW I'M NOT. I know I'm doing great and that Sadie is loved and cherished and fed healthy food and gets out to play plenty, etc. but something about this kind of life makes me a little bit crazy with a strange type of envy that I can't quite explain.
It's not a negative envy like I used to have of the pretty/popular girls in junior high... it's an inspirational envy. A motivational envy.
But it's also an envy that leaves me feeling a little paralyzed.
It makes me ask The Big Questions like "What am I doing with my life? Really?" "How can I improve it so that I feel more successful as a mom, wife and woman?" and the big one: "What Do I Want?"


So there it is:
What. Do. I. Want?
Why is that the hardest flipping question to answer? It seriously sends me spinning. I get completely tangled in what-if land when I even casually start to ponder things like going back to school or trying to break into a field in which I have sincere interest. Hell, I can't even narrow down what I'd go back to school for, let alone whether I could hack it while trying to be a good wife and mom at the same time.
*sigh*
Most people who know me well just assume I'll do something with my Theater training. I tried teaching and it wasn't a good fit. I don't know if I have the drive and initiative to attempt running theater camps or workshops (wonderful and logical suggestions I've received more than once from trustworthy, thoughtful sources).
I suppose for now I need to just try harder to feel comfortable in the wife/mother skin that I'm in and make sure to nourish myself as well. Having gotten back onstage twice this calendar year was really good for me and I should not forget that. If I'm forced to admit what my dream job would be, I have to say that it remains the same: Actress. I used to say "famous actress" but for several years now it's been "really talented actress". (Oh, and "who is well paid and gets lots of work" would be nice, too). For better or worse, though, I have absolutely zero interest in moving to L.A. to "make a go of it." At least not in the foreseeable future.
I suppose for now I'll just have to keep dreaming that Jen, Courtney and I get together for girls' lunches to talk about what our next project will be...

Sunday, October 4, 2009

pre Halloween



My favorite holiday is Halloween. I try to find several fun things to do each year to celebrate this whimsical holiday and I'm delighted that Sadie is old enough to partake in the fun now.

First up: cookie decorating with friends!
I spent way too much time looking up cut-out cookie and icing recipes online and then a little too much money on supplies, but we had a marvelous time, so it was well worth it. Plus, I have extras, so we can do this a few more times with more friends. Yay!
oh, the possibilities!

the girls

hard at work

Sadie's "Monster"piece

a tray full of fun!

Doesn't this get you in the mood for a little Halloween mayhem of your own?

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Leather Sneakers and Warm Chocolate Cake



How did we spell
"Happy Third Anniversary?"
D-a-t-e N-i-g-h-t!
Huge thanks once again to our friends Angela and Gernot for entertaining Sadie at their house while we went out for dinner.
  • Oven Roasted Moroccan Spiced Prawns with Scallions and Lemon
  • A shared flight of red wines by the glass from the Rhone region
  • Pepper Crusted Prime Rib with Mashed Potatoes, Bacon, Spinach and Red Wine Sauce
  • Oven Roasted Pork Loin with Creamy Polenta and Olive Tapenade Vinaigrette
  • Warm Chocolate Cake with Mocha Chip Gelato
I'm not sure if my favorite thing was the warm chocolate cake or the the fact that I found the perfect 3rd anniversary present for my hard-to-buy-for honey:

(leather sneakers!)